“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters whenever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Saviour” – Hillsong worship
3rd of November was my baptism day, I was extremely happy. I was saved at the age of 16 and I didn’t get baptised right after and I am glad. I didn’t understand the significance of this act when I was 16 but now, I do.
On the 23rd of November, exactly 20 days after I have been baptised; I woke up from a dream that took me back to that moment of my life. In this dream I was swimming in a still, quiet and deep ocean. I kept jumping in this water and getting out, I was repeating this until I saw two women wearing white ropes being baptised and it suddenly downed on me that Jesus is teaching me something, let me pay attention.
Let me give you a back story….. On the day of my baptism I was terrified to the core. The weather was very bad, it was windy and the waves were fighting. When I stepped inside the water, everything in me shattered, I was in pieces on the inside to a point I convinced myself that I don’t really need to do this. I wanted to run and never look back, I was so scared.
Now, I was inside the water and my pastor said “I got you” for like 10x until I actually listened. It felt like my heart was closing up my throat, I couldn’t breathe, like all that was left to do is to cough up and it would jump out. My pulse was racing like crazy and when I was done, I remember saying to myself “I never ever want to experience something like this in my life”
See if God was speaking to me in that moment I probably wouldn’t have heard him because my fears overshadowed my faith. So In my dream, immediately when I saw those women being baptised, I started to feel like I was drowning. Like I’m fighting, I’m swimming and I can’t get out, until I heard a voice saying “This is not happening to you, it’s happening in you…focus on me”
I kept on praying, asking God to keep my eyes above the waves. I prayed so hard, I forgot for a moment that I was drowning and when I opened my eyes, the water was still again and I remembered that “it was not happening to me, it is happening in me’. I woke up from this dream and God gave a Word, Matthew 14:22-36 and I could hear him saying “If you want to live above the waves, you need to learn to live above your fears”.
Prayerlessness is a sure-fire way to keep you in bondage of fear. Until you realise that prayer is your lifeline in times of trouble, you will never have liberation from fear or you will never see the power of God in your situation. I’m still trying to not allow my struggles to consume me, to take it one day at a time, to learn to breathe, to listen and action.
I think we underestimate the power our fears have in holding us back. We live our lives as though it’s normal because we have conformed to “it’s who I am” mindset when we are just afraid to step into the unknown. We are teaching our brains to think small and to shrink in order to accommodate our anxieties. Faith is trusting in what you can’t see, it’s to have the courage to enlarge yourself, expand your mind and challenge it out of the normal and comfortable. You will see wanders it does to a soul to live free!!!
Trusting is not a small thing, when you’re drowning in your situation, it’s not easy to surrender and step back. But you cannot see miracles in your life if you think you can control everything. There can only be one God and it is not you. It does a body good to let the healing waters flow. The pain inside is clipping your ability to love and suffocating you from breathing, from being and from living.
I don’t think the problem is that we do not believe enough, it’s that we are fearful more. We have conditioned our minds to think a certain way and subconsciously limiting our brains to think that it is not possible. As a result, we put God in a box and make him shrink to our own ideas. When he does something out of the ordinary, we freak out because it’s unknown and everyone is scared of the unknown.
“He make me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters” – Psalm 23:2